zebras can smell water too.

yeah i know a lot of make up right ??? hah but it was only for a LADY GAGA make-up vid i was doing for a friend (: i promise i dont wear that much haha well its monday !!! T_T  i really hate mondays like a rino hates being bitten by flies in Africa haha <----- thats kinda funny hahaha . well here i am its 9am and i woke up at 7am hoping to feel amazing but i felt like shizzz maybe cuz i miss my family. they all freakin left me to be in Mexico right now hah well im glad they can get some time for themselves but i really wish i could say the same for myself but i cant so i guess i should stop my bitching haha so the picture you see above all this ^^^^^^^  its me on my cell phone with the one man i thought was actually gonna give me a second chance in everything . like what the hell i done everything i can do for this guy while hes away in a different STATE !!!! i write this guy hand written letters like who seriously wastes their time writing someone a nice letter and pictures to go along with them well i can tell you this moron right here does.  okay so here the thing i asked him before he left if he would write to me if i "ever" wrote him and he said "yeah why wouldnt i?" okay asshole i never got a freakin letter back while i sent out 4 already i think your lying to me about writing back hahahha oh well i always always Always !! but 100% into every relationship that i ever get myself into and what do i get in return ??? NOTHING !!!!!! absolutely NOTHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  like i am soo scared to even get married sometimes for this reason cuz im really scared my husband is gonna get sick of me and dumb me for another whore and im left alone. i swear every guy is like this even the ones that deep down in your heart you believe that will never ever dream or dare of hurting you like this end up dong just that  !!! like seriously wtf what gives guys ????  what dont we have that you guys wants???? like seriously ??? i am too skinny to fat too ugly too pretty not sexy ,sexy ??? cool not cool . popular too popular for ya come on tell me what the hell do MEN want besides just sex and boobs and ass and every way a woman can every please them .. we just need to know. is it cuz we love you too much they you dont know how to treat a lady right is it cuz your scared to get your heart broken again that you decide to break ours first ????? !!!!!!! is that is ????????????? your cowards and you cant man up about how you freakin feel ?!?!?!?!? what the HELL IS IT????!!!!!!(just trying not to kill this keyboard) omgosh i just soo angry like okay yeah i get it hes coming home next month but sure as hell its not gonna change if i even bring up the fact the i like him im sure hes just be like okay ....... maybe he'll just want to kiss me cuz he didnt kiss anyone the 3 mons that he was gone and use me but eff that shizz im not giving in and getting played like that if anything i'll burn his PENIS off :DDD maybe listening to MUSE is making me all insane prolly more insane cuz i know how much he adores muse ahah and this isnt all about him either some of this is about another boy in my life but eh i doubt anything will happen there ahha make cuz i wont let it happen there . okay im going to end this one and write like two more cuz i have a lot on my mind that i need to get out :DD love ya !